Made a mistake (being unfaithful), but how can I help solve deeper conflicts?

Alright, here goes: I started "seeing" a college friend from long back. He introduced his parents at a restaurant; his dad was an ex-councilman-once conservative, now more liberal-minded, a phd; and his mom's a pro-life counselor, in a wheelchair for six years, also phd. He's a grad student working with mice, seriously afraid of his mom, but follows her every word. His dad manages real estate and has me working for him, which is convenient, but the bad thing is that his dad and I have been fooling around (especially since I work late nights at his office). His mom doesn't allow him to touch me in her presence (maybe she knows; not sure) and now wants him to find a better job, not at a lab with mice all day, so he's planning to move to Baltimore, but wants me to keep working with his dad (what am I supposed to do?). His dad wants him to stay at home longer and wants to pay his son to get an apartment, too. I'm almost considering letting him move in with me, if it's okay with his father?Made a mistake (being unfaithful), but how can I help solve deeper conflicts?
Hi! Doreen,



Unfortunately, it seems as though you've stumbled upon a little disfunction...You are young %26amp; still have a life ahead of you. I say, drop everyone %26amp; move on to bigger better things my friend...



This is just a life lesson for you, learn, ok? Seriously, it will only get ugly from this point forward...think with your head, not our heart!



Best wishes!
be unfaithful with meMade a mistake (being unfaithful), but how can I help solve deeper conflicts?
IMHO run from that situation. Nothing good can come from ANY of it.
Sounds like you need to let the son go and be away from your jacked up a** and his family jacked up a** so he has a fighting chance. DO NOT LET HIM MOVE IN W? YOU
That kind of stuff could be a great script for a soap opera. I don't know what to tell you but make the right choice and if it is him then you gotta tell him about dad. You don't wanna keep a lie between you
I don't get it. Do you want to keep fooling around with his father? It sounds like that's what you're afraid of losing. Oh, and btw, you're a whore.
Make better choices next time, as to your current situation you need to get out! This is one seriously medded up group of people.



Good luck
Sounds like he is too much of a momma's boy for you to get involved with. He would have to learn to stand up to her before being able to be in a serious relationship with someone.



And, you messing with the father... sounds like you have some serious issues yourself.
call maury, I think you need him to guide you lol

jk



you need to decide which one to actually be with and in this case the logical choice would be...... the fathers son.

The father is married, that makes what you are doing VERY taboo.
let him move in with you that would solve his problems but you have to stop seeing his dad thats not right you are just hurting him and exspecially if he finds out that will destroy him so you need to decide what you wont first and then act on it
If I followed that story correctly, I'd say you and the young guy should move in together far away from his parents.
Yours sound like a complicated situation. You are involved with the son, and also the dad, yet you never mentioned if you were serious about any of these 2 relationships. Are you in love with the son? or are you in love with the dad? If you are in love with the son, I would suggest not fooling around with his dad anymore because it would hurt him badly. And even if you are in love with the son, given that he listens to his mom his own life, isn't time for him to take charge of his own life and do what he decides to do. It is time to him to become independent of his parents. I would really not suggest letting him move in with you, because you appear to be just getting deeper and deeper into this very complex relationship.



Instead, ask yourself, what is it that you want from a relationship? True love? Then look at both the son and the dad very carefully, and evaluate if either of these 2 men are someone who you would consider having a life long relationship with.



Good luck! Hope you get out of this complex state soon!
wow, you fooled around with his dad? how messed up is that on your part and the dads... break everything off and leave him be, you are going to do nothing except ruin that family. as if cheating wasn't bad enough, you took it the next step higher
okay so if you are fooling around on your suppose to be boyfriend's dad that really means that you have no interest in his son or any respect for his family!!!!! so what i suggest is that if you still want to mess with his dad please be nice enough and respectful enough to leave the son alone and that way you won't feel so guilty...i can see that this type of things happen every day but we as women have to put mind over matter because i know when you guys were messing around it was a little voice in the back of your mind telling you that this was not cool!!!!! and i am really confused by the statement you made when you said that his mother doesn't allow you to touch him or something like that??? does the mother know you are messing with her husband and she still allows you to be in his presents??? thats so weird but any way my advice to you is simply figure out what you want because if your ffriend is going to be moving with you you don't want to be screwing his dad or even messing around with his dad!!!! good luck
Once a wise man picked up a handful of dirt in an historic area...in hopes that the dirt would turn into gold. After realizing it did not transform into gold he stated:



"When it's alll said and done, dirt can never be more than just dirt."
This is a horrible situation. You're doing wrong by fooling around with the Dad. I presume the Mum and the Dad are still married? That's not right at all!



The son may bring you more hope. What you need to do here first though, is tell the truth to them all. This is heartbreaking to read. =( I'm not trying to blame you. But if I got myself in the situation, I'd have to tell.



Do as you wish though!
What do you think you are doing? I don't know how old you are, but you are certainly acting like a petulant kid. You have a multitude of issues but two major ones---sleeping with a father and son combo and your jelly-spine" new"' boyfriend.Stop sleeping with his father.No matter how it began, it is inappropriate and there is no rational explanation for it.You are playing with a family cohesion and threatening to destroy it(what if the wife and son(your supposed boyfriend)) were to find out.Plus like you already indicated the son can't decide his own future or make up his own mind about any thing----work with mice or not, go to Baltimore or not, stay or not----and you now want to have him move in with you.What are you going to do then,sleep with the father during office hours and then sleep with the son after office hours at home.It does not matter what his parents politics and/or occupation are, it would still not explain nor justify your actions.As you probably notice or read between the lines, I don't have much sympathy for you or hold you innocent.And that is deliberate; to force the seriousness of your position on you.Read your piece again ,and if you are the intelligent woman I suspect you are, you will see why.My advice:END IT!.Find your self a new job as soon as possible or practical,engage in some introspection, then find a new man who is single.